she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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