Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
