have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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