Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
