My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
