Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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