Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'm sobbing to NWA
Randomize
