You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
