why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
