What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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