Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
