WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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