Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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