evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Randomize
