is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
