Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
