i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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