You just made me feel so damn special
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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