its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
