she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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