How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
No subtext here. People are naked.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
