Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
