Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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