just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
