if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
