I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
