six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Randomize
