Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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