party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
