So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
