I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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