ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
