hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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