im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
