Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
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