Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
