so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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