I never want to see another naked old woman again.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
