He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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