Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
