My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
