Just fell off a train. Bad.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
How external is "for external use only"?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
