life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
