Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
