Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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