but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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