Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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