I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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