It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
