A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Randomize
