Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
